The Ballad of Rex...
A farmer's dog came into town his Christian name was Rex, a noble pedigree had he, unusual was its text.
And as he trotted down the street twas beautiful to see, his work on every corner and his work on every tree.
He watered every gateway too and never missed a post, for piddlin' was his specialty and piddlin' was his boast.
The city dogs looked on amazed with deep and jealous rage, to see this simple country dog the piddler of their age.
Then all the dogs from everywhere were summoned with a yell, to sniff the country stranger's ore and judge him by the smell.
Some thought that he, the king might be, beneath his tale arose, so every dog drew near to him and sniffed it up his nose.
They smelled him over one by one they smelled him two by two, and noble Rex in high distain stood still, til they were through.
Then just to show the whole shebang he didn't give a dam, he trotted in a grocery store and piddled on a country ham.
He piddled on the mackerel keg, he piddled on the floor, and when the grocer threw him out he piddled throughout the door.
Behind him all the city dogs lined up with instincts true, to start a piddlin' carnival and see the stranger through.
They showed him every piddlin' post they had in all the town, and started to, with many a wink, to pee the stranger down.
They sent for champion paddlers, who were always on the go, who sometimes did a piddlin' stunt or gave a piddlin' show.
They sprang them on him suddenly, when midway into town, Rex only smiled and polished off the ablest white of brown.
For Rex was, within every trick, with vigor and with vim, 1,000 piddles, more or less, were all the same to him.
So when he was wetting merrily with hind legs kicking high, most were hosting' legs of bluff and piddlin' mighty dry.
On and on he sought new ground by piles and scraps of rust, til every city dog went dry and piddled only dust.
But on and on went noble Rex and wet as any real, and all the champion city pups were peed to a standstill.
Then Rex did free hand piddlin', with fancy flirts and flits, with double dips and "gilly twists" and all the latest hits.
And all the time this country dog never winked or grinned, but piddled lightly out of town, as he had piddled in.
The city dogs convention held, to ax what did defeat us, but not one ever put them wise, ol Rex had diabetes.
Submitted by an old friend who wished to remain anonomous
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